


Love me (Again)

by Jusu



Series: Love me (Again) [1]
Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, An Angsty Take on New Game+, Dark Knight Quest (Final Fantasy XIV) Spoilers, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Past Relationship(s), lovers to strangers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-05
Updated: 2019-04-14
Packaged: 2020-01-05 03:55:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18358103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jusu/pseuds/Jusu
Summary: [[SPOILERS FOR HEAVENSWARD, STORMBLOOD AND DRK QUEST]]"I think... one of the reasons to why I was so content with having half of a soul badge is because a large part of me died that day when he died."The Warrior of Light is offered a chance to see her lost love again. Thinking it'll be a similar sweet lie that Myste had shown to others, she accepts the mysterious boy's offer to see her sweetheart again. Initially, she believes it all to be an illusion but as time passes, she's no longer certain what's real or not.Still carrying the memories and feelings for Haurcefant, how will the Warrior of Light cope with their relationship turning from lovers to strangers once again? How will her knowledge of an alternative future affect this timeline?(A collection of prompts and chapters wherever inspiration strikes)https://ko-fi.com/nyooomwrites





	1. An Innocent Wish With Dire Consequences

_"For those we have lost..."_  

 

The remainder of the quote is stuck in her throat, a painful clump that brings her closer to tears when she tries to speak. She can feel the darkness encroaching, threatening to overtake her. Since when had she become so weak? The memories that had served her with purpose and comfort were now threatening to plunge her into despair. Precious memories of silver hair, gentle snow, and a warm embrace. Holding hands behind stone walls, and kissing below the towering buildings of Ishgard. One-sided attraction turned to love between the two, hidden away from disapproving eyes. 

The grief she felt after she lost him was all returning at once. Her knees gave out, and her face hits the cold ground.   

_"Not here, not now! Not when there are so many people counting on me...!"_

It takes all the strength she has to push herself up from the floor. The impact caused her right cheek to sting and pulsate, but she has to push through the pain. Like she always has, like she always will. In the corner of her eye, she can see the mysterious boy approach her. He stops just as she can see his feet in front of her. She can't give up! If she did, wouldn't their deaths be for nothing!?

 

"Serve... Save... Slave... Slay..."

 

Her head jerks upwards as she hears those familiar words she had not heard in a long time. Who was this boy? Why did he look just like them? -- His face and her hair. Why did the gods have to mock her so!?

"Do you want to see them again?"

Sidurgu, Rielle, _everyone_ is counting on her to come back. If she doesn't then, they'll all be in danger. If she doesn't, they might die! And who else would take up the mantle of Warrior of Light? Who else would be the unlucky bastard of being crushed under the weight of everyone's hope? Nobody should have to see their friends and loved ones die, that's why they fought for a better Eorzea, that's why they had to be the ones watching people die...  

As if Myste could hear her thoughts, he interrupted her mid-catastrophic thinking. 

 

"Do you want to see him again? If you give me more of your Aether, I promise I'll spare the two from death."

 

The boy stretched out his hand for the Warrior to take. Different scenarios played in her head, and she knew which one was the right one to take -- the one everyone expected of her, but her heart longed to see the smile of her beloved. She wanted to take solace in the embrace of the man she lost, the man who made her feel like she had a home and a place where she belonged.

 

"Please. Let me see him."

 

She didn't have to take his hand for the deal to be sealed, her pitiful words. Myste's face split in two, a grotesque grin unsuited for his soft features, an insult to the memory of whose appearance he has taken on. A pool of ink-black darkness formed underneath her, filling her nose with the smell of ashes and dust as she slowly sank into it. She knew that it was making a deal with a devil. If she wasn't straight-out heading towards her death, it was going to be a slow and agonising one. She had failed her duty, though her regret for letting everyone down wasn't strong enough for her to not give into the emptiness and longing she felt. She foolishly clung onto the happy memories of the Silver Fuller as the darkness choked her. All her Aether was being ripped out in chunks, and it felt as if she was cut into a million pieces by someone who wanted to see her suffer. The blue light leaving her body was tethered to a figure in the distance, most likely Myste, though no features were discernable as her eyes welled with tears. Oh, how pathetic she was, crying out in pain and shedding billowing tears that no one would ever see -- or want to see. All they wanted was an empty vessel who did their bidding, a weapon which strikes down anyone who opposes them.

There was no room for the woman she is inside; her wants and needs were always secondary to the role of being Hydaelyn's chosen.  

She wanted to see him. Just one more time. Even if it was a sweet lie, just let her hold him and feel his warmth again. 

 

_"Please."_

 

As the last Aether went out, the Warrior lost consciousness. 


	2. A Changed Woman

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Haurchefant invites the poor Scions who've escaped Ul'dah after the assassination of the sultana. They are all understandably saddened by the events that took place; however, the Warrior of LIght seems very different from before.

It truly had been too long since her last visit.

Haurchefant was confident that the small scar on her left cheek was new and the spark of innocence in her eyes was gone. As much as he wanted to compliment her on her versatility in battle, he knew that this was not the time to inquire about the drastic change of a White Mage staff to a great sword whom most soldiers at his camp would struggle even to swing.

The look in her eyes and the ones of her comrades said that she needed a friend more than an admirer at this moment. Ah, but absence makes the heart go fonder, no? And he didn't mind pampering the Warrior of Light. It was the first time where she had stayed at the camp long enough to accept his offer of some tea and biscuits. If only it had been under better circumstances. He was flattered that they had come to him in their hour of need, yet they shouldn't have had to. But there was no time to lament while he had guests to host. Carrying as large of a platter as he could, Haurchefant returned to where his friends were sitting in silence.

"And what would you like to drink, my light?" He tried to keep a light-hearted mood, but the emptiness in her smile was crystal-clear.

She had the look of disbelief ever since they arrived here. It was understandable, after all, who in their right mind would agree to conduct such a devious plot against the Scions who had fought so hard for all Eorzeans. Especially the Warrior of Light who had risked life and limb fighting the Eikons who threatened to destroy their lands?

"I'd love some hot chocolate, please," she replied in a small voice.

"Then I'll bring something warm back for all of you," Haurchefant said before leaving once more.

 

By the fury.

Few tales could make his blood boil with such rage.

The Warrior of Light had always been one of few words and underselling her accomplishments, so when Alphinaud and Tataru told him in detail of what had happened, Haurchefant was furious. He couldn't let it show though, for it was not he who was suffering at the moment.

The Warrior had stepped out for a moment, but when she didn't return Tataru had asked him to search for her, fearing that she might've run into trouble. Though he wished to deny it, he too was worried about her. His hopes of finding her safely just outside dashed as he opened to door. The cold wind and realization that nobody knew were she was hit him as he took his first steps out in the snow. Luckily, some guards at the camp said they had seen her just north-west of the camp. He rushed past the Steel Vigil and saw a solitary figure. It had to be her as he recognized She was standing at the end of a cliff, overlooking the greatsword. 

"Ah, there you are! Praise Halone," He breathed a sigh of relief as he approached her with arms stretched wide, "Please consider having me escorting you outside as we feared the worst when you did not return."

He stopped in his tracks as he saw the billowing tears running down her face. It was no wonder that she had held her feelings hidden while being in front of others, but she didn't have to carry the burden on her own. Carefully, he took the remaining steps needed to close the distance between them. Haurchefant gently brushed the loose strands of hair which had intermingled with her tears,

"I swear on my honor as a knight that your name will be cleared. You are not alone, so you need not act as if the burden is only yours to bear. I will keep you safe." Further tears began welling up in the Warrior's eyes, and he couldn't explain the look she had other than disbelief and uncertainty. It hurt that she had looked at everyone, included himself as if she wasn't sure if she could trust them anymore.

He wanted to hold her and get her back into the warmth, but first, he wished to stop the tears from falling. If she had left to cry on her own, then she most likely wouldn't want to return with reddened eyes and puffed up cheeks.

Regardless, she looked absolutely splendid as always.

"Please, do not look at me so," he chuckled as he dried her cheeks. It must've been the wrong thing to say, as with a loud sob her crying worsened.

The Warrior buried her face into his chest, no longer holding back the heartwrenching wails. He could do naught but to cradle her head as she let it all out. He was worried that his armor did not provide the level of comfort the poor Warrior deserved, but neither he or she seemed to have any intention of letting go of each other.

Finally, her crying reduced to soft sobbing, Haurchefant gently stroked her hair. They had been out in the snow for some time, and in the back of his mind he knew that her companions were still awaiting her return, he wanted her to go back on her own volition when she was ready.

"You're still here..."

"Hmm?"

When she didn't respond, he assumed that she had murmured something to herself. The Warrior slowly let go of him.

"I think I'm ready to go back now. Thank you," she turned her heel and began walking back to the camp

As he stood there for a few seconds, watching her go, he realized how cold it was without her in his arms. He should be thanking the gods for the moment he had her in his embrace, yet without her smiling, it felt quite hollow.

 

Tataru and Alphinaud were still as inconsolable as before, but at least one of their worries were put to rest with the return of their Warrior of Light. After many cups of hot chocolate, Haurchefant felt as he had finally thawed from being out in the cold. He's sure that to anyone paying attention he looked like an infatuated teen unable to tear his eyes off the Warrior. Her hair was in beautiful disarray from the snow and wind outside. He swore he saw the ghost of a smile on her lips whenever their eyes met.

There truly was no other words to describe her other than "Splendid."

"I'm sorry?" The young Elezen looked at him with a furrowed brow. Haurchefant cleared his throat as he realized he had spoken out loud.

"Ah, mine apologies, I was muttering to myself. I think I'll retire for the evening," Haurchefant got up from the table and wished everyone a good night.

He made it no further than to the hallway before he felt a tug on his sleeve. "Please wait!" His heart stopped. How was it possible that someone could be the epitome of a hardened Warrior in one moment and so adorable in the next? She could so easily pull on his heartstrings as he always was the one who wore his heart on his sleeve, but no one before had such an effect on him.

"What is it, my light?"

The faintest trace of pink spread across her cheeks. "Uhm, I wanted to thank you for... for everything," the pause was brief, but long enough to see that the Warrior was listing all the things in her head which she was thankful for.

Haurchefant smiled. "There is naught to worry about, I fully believe in your innocence. I will ensure that you will receive shelter under House Fortemps, I swear it."

It was the first genuine smile he had seen from her all night. "Thank you."

He couldn't help but smile in return. The Warrior truly had a smile of an angel. "Please do try to get some rest, there will be much to do when tomorrow breaks." He began to turn his heel, but the Warrior latched onto his arm once more. "I'm sorry, there's actually one more thing I would like to ask. A favor, if at all possible."

"I shall do my best. What is it you wish to ask of me, my Warrior of Light?"

"Can I stay with you for the night?"

"Eh?"

It was rare for Haurchefant to be rendered completely speechless, but there he was, mind racing all over the place. The realization of the intimate implication of her request hit the Warrior like a magitek vehicle, and she began backpedaling. "N-no, I mean...!"

"My, my, what a bold request, my dear Warrior of Light. I never thought you'd take up on my offer of a warm bed, especially in times like these. You never cease to amaze me." His teasing caused the Warrior to blush furiously. Oh, she was so precious when flustered, during normal circumstances, he wouldn't hesitate to sweep her off her feet and carry her to bed so he could ravage her, but... "As tempted as I am to invite you to my private quarters, I fear that I would be taking advantage of you in a vulnerable state."

"Ngnh... I meant something else!" She took a few shallow breaths as she tried to calm down, "I just..."

The silence between them was deafening. The Warrior had to fight tooth and nail to squeeze the last words of her sentence out.

"I don't want to be alone tonight," her voice was so small, he couldn't help but feel a pang of guilt in his heart. It still didn't sit right with him. When the Warrior did not receive a response, she shook her head. "I'm sorry, I'm so confused, I... I don't know what's really real anymore, so I wish not to be alone tonight."

He wished to ask why she wanted to be with him but despite it all, there was a fear of being rejected. Besides, he shouldn't even be considering it, as it still felt like he would be taking advantage of his beloved Warrior of Light. Though her puppy eyes did make him feel as if he should reconsider. What could he say to persuade her, and at the same time not push her away in such a matter that she'd take it as a rejection?

The sudden embrace caused him to stumble back. The Warrior was once again in his arms, burying her face into his chest. He sighed and began softly stroking her hair. She was going to get her way, wasn't she?

"I'm sorry for being so pushy," the Warrior mumbled into Haurchefant's chest. He chuckled and held her closer.

"I do not fully understand the nature of your request, but your pleas have not fallen on deaf ears. I will arrange for an additional bed--"

"That won't be necessary." His mind went blank before it began racing once more. Slightly letting go of the Warrior, he desperately tried to read her face. The pink hue still lingered on her face and along with that beautiful smile, it made the butterflies take flight in his stomach.

"Pardon?" He finally managed to get out. Her eyes went wide.

"I would like to feel your warmth as it makes me feel safe. Sorry, I'm being unreasonable, aren't I?" The Warrior let her arms fall from Haurchefant's sides, but he caught her left hand before she could fully retreat.

"Do not misunderstand me. I would happily oblige during normal circumstances. The only reason for my reluctance is that I do not know if this is something you would want were things as calm as before." She suddenly looked as if she was miles away in her own mind. The Warrior breathed a sigh and closed her eyes.

When she opened them, he could see that her eyes were brimming with tears. "...This is very much something that I have wanted in the past."

Haurchefant decided not to question her motives any further. A part of him was still uncertain as he racked through the memories in his head of the time the two had spent together. From what he can remember, she had shown only a little romantic interest in him before, so it did feel sudden for her to ask to share a bed. He continued to stroke her hair as she desperately clung onto his chest and sobbed through the night.

He should take things slow with her.

Just in case.


	3. Chapter 3

She forced her eyes shut, yet sleep refused to come to her. No matter how hard the Warrior tried, she could not shut out the sound of her own heartbeat, and the one of the man lying in front of her. His body was emanating warmth, but was it the same one that had offered her comfort many cold nights years ago?   
"You're still here..." she murmured into his chest.

  
Myste had brought others back to life, and their shapes were capable of interacting with the outside world even give her and Sid one hell of a fight, but this one... this farce had gone on longer than what she thought possible. She could feel Fray's anger bubble up from within, yet he didn't speak to her. Ever since their fight in Whitebrim, he had only spoken to her when her life was in grave danger. His offer was always the same.

  
"Relinquish control."

  
Her mind had been in a jumble ever since she regained consciousness. Why was she here? The other illusions at least acknowledged the person's death and their memories, but here everyone was different. It was more akin to her stepping back into a faraway memory to relive it once more.   
Her memories of this time is a haze as everything happened at once -- the assassination of the Sultana, the Crystal Braves' betrayal, and how the Scions of the Seventh Dawn were picked off almost one by one right in front of her.   
A warm hearth and a warmer welcome awaited her at the end of that. Though they struggled in the beginning, the sad memories the Warrior had then turned to warm ones. Memories of snow gently falling outside while drinking hot chocolate next to a silver-haired knight. She felt like she had a home here, a family, and part of her resented the fact that when reunited with her Scion friends, there was a voice which lingered in her mind. One laced with toxin threatening to undo her allegiance towards a better Eorzea. It was the voice of a snake which had coiled itself around her throat as it whispered its hate into her ears.

  
Out of all her friends which she'd lost;  
Why was it everyone but the one that mattered the most who returned from death's grasp?

  
The Warrior shuffled closer to Haurchefant, pressing her ear against his chest. There was a heartbeat, and there was the warmth of a live person. If it was an illusion, then she wants to spend an eternity with him in the same innocent bliss as before. But it was more of a memory than a dream. She had hoped that if she played along for a while and left to see Haurchefant's grave then perhaps Myste would appear and force her to come to terms with her beloved's death. The harsh cold of the Coerthas wind couldn't bring her out of the shock to not see the gravestone she had visited regularly for the last three years. There was no shattered shield there either, just the sound of the howling winds from the canyon below.

  
After calming down from that shock, she then tried to challenge the illusion but it backfired as the man in front of her did not act as he did when they were lovers, further cementing the belief that she was reliving her memories.   
If Myste did this to offer her comfort and closure, then why didn't he bring the Haurchefant he was before he had died for her? Was this a cruel ploy of getting her hopes up that perhaps she could change the future outcome?   
She knew she shouldn't, but a part of her wanted to believe she could.   
The part that had refused to let him go after three years of mourning. There was a lot of things which the Warrior of Light felt she could fix if the gods allowed her to go back in time, but if there was but one thing she could change she knew exactly what she would focus her efforts on. 

The Warrior clenched fist, holding on tightly to the fabric of Haurcefant's tunic. It was still moist from the tears she had shed earlier through the night. 

If she were only allowed one thing, then it would be to keep the man she loved safe.

**Author's Note:**

> So I want to try something different with this story where I'll be accepting both prompts from others as well as writing my chapters. The entries won't be written in chronological order of the story but rearranged later so that it will later be. 
> 
> It'll be my first series as well since I can imagine there being some branching paths with prompts and chapters that don't fit together, like in the event of a ship change or major story event. 
> 
> Please leave any prompts you have as a comment! I read them all, but may not tackle them at once because life is unfair and filled with other tasks and responsibility... 
> 
> Thank you all for reading!


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